Almost 20

As the days get closer to June 9th 2019 (just over a month away) I realise that turning 20 will be a big deal. I’ll finally have to face the stone cold truth that I need to behave more like an adult. Right? I need to make my own appointments. DO my OWN laundry. Learn how to cook something besides toast, 2 minute noodles and well occasionally damn good calzone. I’m 19 and shamefully reliant on my mother. I hate it but I’m also too lazy to do the domestic stuff while she still (sort of ) happily does it for me. It’s bad I know. I think I put off learning to cook because of my stubborn attitude that I don’t need to be training to be a ‘conventional’ wife to some stock-broker type husband that will inevitably lead to living a monotonous life that involves words like “investing”, “mortgage” and “retirement fund”. Note to self* I need to look at cooking as less of an ‘anti-feminism’ activity but more like a ‘pro-survival’ activity.  Especially if I ever dare to move out. Which is what I want to do. Be completely independent and on my own. This notion is becoming more of a reality and the days etch closer to not only being 20 but moving to ENGLAND and studying there. Alone. By myself. For a WHOLE semester. I can’t wait. Maybe it’s the whole “ the grass is greener on the other side thing”  but I truly believe that taking a step away from my home, New Zealand ( a literal step, well….. more like a leap, into the sky, by means of an airplane) will give me transcendent clarity about what I want to do with my life. Also hopefully I’ll use this magnificant experience to learn how to write better.

There are also things that I want to do while I am still technically a teenager at 19

My friend justified getting a fringe ( with a BIG nudge from me) by saying that time is running out for her teenage years and if she is to make a bad hair decision that now is the time to do it, so that if she looks back on the fringe decision as a fiasco when she is 40 or something she will say, “I was a teenager at the time”. I like this mantra. Take risks while you’re a teen. People are more likely to be lenient if these risks end up being mistakes (eg. the criminal justice system… but ya know don’t push that). In your teens you have your parents to fall back on and you can always blame it on an under-developed pre-frontal cortex, right? I only have 1 month left of teenagedom so I must use it wisely (aka recklessly). Maybe I’ll get something pierced? Attempt to sneak out? (that’ll be tough because my bedroom window is on the second floor) Skinny dip? Go to parties? Dye my hair purple? All sound a bit off putting to a homebody like myself but I’m sure I’ll find something.

SO here is to the lead up to the big 20 and whatever comes after it.

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